The Secret Language
by Lynx Tiger
Summary: "We speak with our hands so that our souls do not remain silent." Tibetan Proverb. Learning a new language can be fun and exciting, but with those who despise what it stands for...it can be a merciless battle.
1. Learning and Signing

**I do not own Saiyuki nor do I make any profit from them.**

**_Lynx: I have taken ASL for two years and learned it's culture. I cannot say I'm fluent in culture, but I think I get the gist of it. If anyone has anything to add or want me to correct, please do so in a review. No flames, everyone makes mistakes. _**

Chapter One: Learning and Signing

Sanzo rubbed his forehead as the monkey and the kappa practically ordered everything off of the menu. Though he had to admit, it wasn't technically a waste of money since they ate it all. What bothered him was the noise that was going to come soon. Every time without fail Goku and Gojyou would start arguing over the last piece of food or whose was whose. It got tiring and in the end boring.

"God is that girl annoying or what?" Though they didn't look it, their attention was caught by the other table's complaint. "What does she do with that book in her face? I tried talking to her, but she didn't even look up."

"Dunno dude, she's probably not into you, or perhaps she had some music in." Another shrugged.

"Oh yeah, totally." The voice was dripped in sarcasm. "Fucking lunatic if you ask me."

Gojyou rolled his eyes. "Of course they'd bad mouth her. She probably has higher standards."

"Too bad for you," Goku smirked and dodged his hand that was about to hit the back of his head. Curious to know, he looked over and scanned the cafe. Closet to the door was the only girl sitting alone. In her hand was a book and a cup of coffee on the table. He titled his head curiously when he saw one of the waitresses walk over to her and tap the table, making the girl glance up. The waitress handed her the pad she wrote orders on, and the girl responded…by writing back!

This confused him, but he decided not to bring it up. Perhaps it wasn't his business, but he hated secrets. He wasn't exactly nosy, but he just hated them. Secrets always meant trouble, he knew that.

Their waitress came back. She was a tiny petite woman with a bow tie around her neck and her cheeks were painted a pretty shade of pink. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail. She set the plates down with delicacy and grinned happily. Unable to hold back the question that was burning, Goku decided to blurt out what he was thinking. "Ne, do you know why those two send messages back and forth on the pad?"

"Oh." The waitress was surprised and looked over her shoulder. Her voice lowered considerably. "She can't speak and we don't understand her way of speaking, so…writing seems to be the best move."

"Way of speaking?" Gojyou rolled his eyes. "What? She speaks with an accent or something?"

"No, she uses…her hands oddly." The waitress shrugged. "So we thought it'd save time to write instead of trying to learn."

Sanzo snorted, but he didn't say anything. When the waitress left, he tapped into his cigarette and he placed it in his mouth. Goku frowned, "I don't get it. Why is it troublesome to learn? It sounds pretty exciting to me."

No one seemed to have an idea, and Goku started to get an idea in his mind. He stood up and walked over to the table where the girl was sitting. Feeling awkward all of the sudden, he had the mind to turn around and leave. She was really pretty with soft purple hair that was wavy and went down her shoulders like cotton candy. Her eyes were a deep blue as well. The book she was reading was in their native language, so she wasn't a stranger. Remembering what the waitress had done to the table, he tapped it.

Instantly she looked up and blinked a few times. She scooted herself close to the table and titled her head to the side. He did a timid wave and he licked his lips. He walked over here and wanted to learn, but he realized that he couldn't tell her that. She smiled warmly and waved back. Goku was relieved, but still nervous.

She gestured him to sit down next to her and he accepted the seat. She looked around and she leaned forward. Her voice wasn't pretty sounding, it sounded lower in pitch and broken. It obviously hadn't been used in a long time and Goku realized that this was probably why she used that "hand" language. Being made fun of wasn't fun at all. "I am Kali." While she spoke, she signed. "What is your name?"

"Um…" He pointed to himself and mimicked the sign for name. She nodded encouragingly. "My name is…." Now is he was stuck. "Goku." If she could read lips, which was what she was probably doing, she could read that.

"G-O-K-U right?" She finger spelled and signed. Her body leaned forward, but her eyebrows were raised up. He nodded energetically. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you…" She did a sign mouthed the word. He was really thankful that he had some skill in lipreading. Sanzo liked to mutter under his breath. "Too?"

She did the sign for RIGHT and he grinned. This was getting easier. She looked over at the table where he just came from. They were watching, probably trying to figure out if the monkey was going to come back or not. She felt him tap her shoulder and her attention snapped back at him. "Are they your friends?"

Goku looked over his shoulder and nodded. "Yes. Umm…." He motioned to his hair and groaned. He wished he could describe them to her so that she'd know who he was talking about. He gave her a helpless look and she giggled. She made a fist, but her thumb was placed by the forefinger. "A." She made the number four, but her fingers were closed in and her thumb was tucked. "B".

He followed along and when he messed up, she'd stop and position his fingers. Soon they went through the whole alphabet and he went through it by himself. His stomach growled and he realized that he should go back to the table. He had left /right/ when the food was there. Gojyou probably ate it all anyway. Great. It wasn't like Sanzo was going to let him eat more.

The girl seemed to see his predicament for she motioned to the table where he had been sitting. "There is a plate still." She told him. "They saved it for you I think."

"Really?" He finger spelled as well as spoke. She showed him the sign and he copied it exactly. She nodded and he smiled at her. He didn't know what to do. She motioned him to leave with a "go away".

He hesitated and asked, "Tomorrow…will you be here?" He couldn't finger spell that whole sentence quick, but he did get T-O-M-O-R-R-O-W, H-E-R-E? The idea of it seemed to convey. She nodded and he grinned. He waved and went back to the table.

"So, what did the monkey learn?" Gojyou asked as Goku sat down.

Goku stuck his tongue out. "I don't know what that language she uses is called, but it's fun."

Hakkai smiled. "That's sign language Goku. Those who are deaf and mute usually use it. There are those who are hearing who also use it to communicate with them."

"She spoke kinda funny, like her voice hadn't been used at all." Goku frowned. "But she was really nice."

Sanzo rolled his eyes, "Had I known you were interested in not speaking. I would have taught you that a long time ago."

"EH?" Goku's eyes were wide. "You know how to sign Sanzo?"

The priest tapped the ashes into the ashtray. It had to be his second one since he got here. "Of course I know how to sign." He gave Goku a look. "My master taught me how."

"What for? Just in case someone was deaf and wanted your holier than thou speeches?" Gojyou asked dryly.

Sanzo glared at him. "Because you never know who'll walk through the temple doors and speak a different language. Also because it was useful. We had a Brother who was deaf. My master was the only one who could communicate with him. He told me that if everyone learned, then it would be so much easier."

"Ne, ne, can you teach me?" Goku asked hyper-actively. "Are you really good at it?"

"I can /try/." Sanzo said.

"Why do you say try?"

"Because you monkey wear down my patience way to much for me to be an adequate teacher."

"That's mean!"


	2. Bruising Judgements

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki nor do I make profit from them. I only own Kali**

**_Lynx: The same message from previous chapter still stands. I have studied ASL for two years and a bit of their culture. If you have any information, let me know. Or corrections. No flames. I care less about those._**

****Chapter Two: Bruising Judgements.

"Whaa-? She's not here?" Goku pouted as they walked into the cafe. "Where does she hang out then I wonder…"

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "This is what you get for not making the best made plans." He glanced over at the door, the girl looked out of breath. A bruise was forming on her cheek. The bad feeling came back and he tapped Goku's shoulder before nodding at the door. The monkey spun around and immediately tackled her into a hug.

Kali hugged him back and smiled widely. Sanzo watched as they exchanged the simple greetings. They found a vacant table and sat down. When they were seated comfortably, Goku gestured to Sanzo and hesitantly made the sign for friend. Apparently the monkey was really going to need to practice a whole lot more to gain confidence in his signing skills. She waved shyly, and he nodded in acknowledgement.

There was one thing he hated about signing. It was the expressions. It had to fit the sign. He knew that he would have to drop his guard a bit, and he hated that. He hated being an open book. He hated it when he was a child and it didn't change after these twenty something years. "**How are you?**" He mouthed the words, and leaned forward slightly. His eyebrows raised up. He remembered that some times, if signing failed or if he was signing too fast, lipreading was the back up plan.

Her eyes were wide, probably surprised he knew how to sign. "**I'm fine**." She leaned forward, the same gesture and movement she made did the same sign. "**How are you?**"

Sanzo merely made a Y hand-shape and moved it back and forth between them, the sign for ME TOO or SAME. He wanted to tell her that she was a liar if she thought that he was going to believe her about being fine. The bruise on her cheek looked as if it was either from a punch or something else.

Kali seemed to understand his expression. She gestured to the bruise and he nodded. She licked her lips and she signed. "**It happens.**"

He wouldn't doubt that. Humans could be just as bad as demons, if not worse. He knew that there were people who questioned themselves about protecting humanity, or going to the demon side because of it. It wasn't like anyone was better than the other however. They were equally bad.

Goku frowned. He tapped her on the shoulder, making her focus waver from Sanzo and back on to him. "How did you get that bruise?" He gestured to the mark on her face and did the signs for HAPPEN and HOW.

She pursed her lips and Sanzo tapped the table. He hated being the translator, but it was obvious that she needed one. "**I'll be your voice**."

Kali looked relived and started signing, her mouth moving with the story. While she signed and mouthed her story, Sanzo translated it. "Some of the villagers think that I'm weird. Some of them treat me okay. Others…not so much. I just managed to get on someone's bad side today and they took it out on me. It hurts to move my jaw, and I know I split my lip."

This time Goku didn't need Sanzo to translate. The monkey had also learned how to ask "why, what, when, and where." It was the basics. "Why?" He signed and said.

Kali shook her head. She brought her hand to her head and jerked it away from her. "She doesn't know." Sanzo said softly, but the priest already knew why. It was in a memory from a long time ago.

_"Kouryu do you know why people are so against others who are different?" Kouymou asked as he watched two of the monks talk while the third was a few feet away. They laughed and judging from the glare of the third, they were talking about him. Quite rude. "It's not because they feel superior. It's because they are afraid."_

* * *

><p>Kali had been sweet enough to treat them to lunch. Sanzo knew that she probably had to work extra hard for the cash. Goku seemed to know that as well. He pestered her to try and keep the money, but she refused. They were her friends, and she wasn't about to let them pay for her. She had money, she was okay.<p>

Friends. Sanzo didn't know why Kali decided to use that word when she only met them yesterday. Perhaps it was because she didn't know who else could sign. Well, whatever. If that's what she wanted to do, then who was he to stop her? Goku made her walk with them back to the hotel, begging her to teach him more signs. It flattered her, he saw it on the pink blush of her cheeks. She agreed and when he pointed to an object, she'd sign it to him.

This went on for some time, before Goku shook his head. "I can't keep up!"

Kali must have read his lips because she looked worried. She did a D hand shape and brought quickly towards her chest, making her index fingers bent. "She's worried if she's going too fast." Sanzo translated monotonously.

Goku shook his head quickly. "Just too many." He looked puzzled as he tried to think of the signs. She giggled and showed him the sign for MANY and also SIGN. He repeated it and she nodded her head, agreeing.

Sanzo tapped her shoulder. "Do you live nearby?" He asked as well as signed.

She pursed her lips and shook her head and signed, "**I'm on the other side of the village**."

If she was on the other side, why did she agree to the idiotic monkey's request? This confused him and it made him irritated for some reason. He shook his head and she seemed to worry. She reached out and was about to tap his arm but he jerked back. He was so unused to contact. He looked at her, and hesitantly signed, "**I'm not used to that.**"

She frowned, and with her fist to her chest, she moved it in a circular direction. She signed, "**I'm sorry.**" She probably understood that he was upset that she decided to go along with the request. If she was hurt once, who was to say that she wouldn't be hurt again? Instead of touching him this time, she waved her hand to grab his attention. "**I'll be okay.**"

Sanzo didn't do anything to confirm nor deny what she said. Goku immediately grabbed her attention again and they began once more to point and learn the signs.


	3. Name Signs and Signs of Doubt

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki nor do I make any profit from them. I do own Kali.**

**_Lynx Tiger: I know short chapter, I will lengthen the next one up 3. _  
><strong>

Chapter Three: Name Signs and Signs of Doubt

Hakkai pressed an ice pack into her hands. Goku begged Sanzo to let her hang out for a little bit. He agreed, annoyed. However, the healer knew Sanzo like a book. Apparently the priest was worried about something. Hakkai had a suspicion, but he wasn't about to let it be known. He'd talk to Sanzo about it later.

Sanzo stood up, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. One meaningful look told Hakkai that he should come. Seeing that Kali and Goku were busy with each other, he walked into the hallway. "With the bridge across the lake being down, we don't have much of a choice but to stay." Hakkai glanced over his shoulder. "Does Goku know what he's getting himself into?"

"No." Sanzo responded. "He'll figure it out soon. If not soon then probably when it's too late. He's not the brightest monkey in the jungle."

"He has his moments, you have to give him that much credit." Hakkai commented. He knew that Sanzo was worried about Goku being attached to the girl. It wasn't her fault the villagers were the way they were. However, the last thing any of the group wanted was to get in a mess that didn't have anything to do with them.

Sanzo knew that the monkey was going to get involved. Hakkai knew it too. Goku couldn't let things go. He was very sensitive about those who were stuck in the shadows of hate because they were different. He knew it first hand and he wanted to keep people from feeling that way. It was just something that Goku was cursed and blessed with.

Sanzo watched as Kali blushed furiously and Goku panicked. Both were stumbling over signs and stuttering words, trying to fix a sentence obviously signed wrong. "I'm not willing to stick around and watch it happen."

"Neither am I." Hakkai said simply.

* * *

><p>"<strong>What is a sign name?<strong>" Goku signed looking highly curious. He remembered that he had to lean in forward slightly, and furrow his eyebrows because it was not a yes or no question. It was so hard to remember that to ask questions there was a lot of leaning and moving around. Hell, there was a lot of moving around and expressions for simple sentences.

Kali licked her lips and she had on her thinking face. He watched her as she finally figured out what she wanted to sign. "It's a easy way to sign your name. It's a better way than fingerspelling your name." She explained as she signed, so that he could catch a sign he didn't know and ask her about it.

He did the sign for EASY looking confused. She finger spelled it and he nodded, understanding what was. "**What is your sign name?**"

She shook her head, "**I don't have one.**"

Goku frowned. He wanted to ask how to get one, so he decided to sign; NAME SIGN HOW?

The message, though vague was understandable to her. She made another thinking face. "Someone has to give me one." She decided it was safer to sign and talk. Talking was rough on her, she was unpracticed and it was hard to know if she was even using the correct words. "A sign name describes the person. For an example…" She made a G hand shape and moved it across her forehead.

He repeated the motion. "Could that be my sign name?" He was careful to sign as well though he was stuck. NAME SIGN….MINE? He decided to use instead since he didn't know the sign for COULD. She nodded and Goku was estactic. "I have a sign name!" He exclaimed.

Kali was lucky she could lip read. She was happy that he was happy he had a sign name. She was surprised when he was watching her intensely. She raised an eyebrow up, questioning silently what he was doing. Finally he made a K sign and brought to his lips and moved it away. The sign for TRUE with K.

Her eyes widened. Hesitantly she repeated the sign and he grinned. K-A-L-I he fingered spelled and did the same sign again. She was so shocked and touched that he gave her a sign name. No one in this village gave her one, all preferring to speak or to write out on pads of paper. Especially since the oralists told the village that it was the only way for her to be apart of the community.

To think that she had something that was denied to her because she was the only one deaf here. She hugged Goku tightly and signed over and over, THANK YOU.


	4. Blossom and Fade part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki nor make any profit from them. I do own Kali.**

_**Lynx Tiger: Some may wonder why Kali is speaking funny. Well I forgot in the last few chapters when she speaks, that they use TOPIC COMMENT. Even when they talk naturally, they use the TOPIC COMMENT format. I think I got the TOPICS, but I'm not really good at figuring out what the topic is in my sentence so I tried. Also I apologize if Gojyou is out of character. I don't know why, he is one of the hardest people to write for me. I am not ladies man material. **_

Chapter Four: Blossom and Fade part 1

Gojyou didn't like the energy that was around the village. It was tensed and focused. He knew he wasn't the one that was attracting the bad karma. Not once did someone mention the color of his hair or eyes, or even made a filthy remark about his heritage. But something was making everyone uptight. Hell, if he wanted to compare, they were more tighter than Sanzo…and that was saying something in his book.

Kali was walking towards him. He remembered her name only because Goku wouldn't /shut up/ about her. Gojyou noticed a bruise that was on her cheek. She gave him a bright smile and a cheerful wave. He couldn't help himself, he smiled and waved back. She beamed and continued walking onwards.

"I swear I don't know what that priest and his charge are thinking, walking around with an unable child." A villager snapped as they watched Kali walk off. "She's not good at anything. I know her teacher as assured us time and time again that if she learns how to speak she will be efficient but it seems she only gets worse!"

"That girl was with a boy wasn't she? Teaching him those gestures right?" Another villager asked, "We should probably tell him that it's a bad idea."

"Ah, right. The teacher said it was a bad idea that they sign. After all they have to be apart of the community. She can't do that if he's signing to her."

They always had the same idiots. Gojyou continued walking, it seemed to him that there was no questions asked. Either she signed and become an outsider or talk and not understand a word being said back. He wondered if they ever thought of that or if they thought she was a reliable lip reader. Sure, she might be a very good lipreader, but the flaws in their thinking process were just too numerous to count.

He did hope though that Kali got home okay. He noticed the bruise and he was quite sure someone hit her because she was signing and not speaking. He doubted the people around were going to start pointing fingers. He knew what justifications they'd give him and none of it would be right. He had half of the mind to turn around and go after her, make sure that she was okay.

Oh screw it, he might as well. He didn't know how to sign, but he was quite sure that he would be able to get his message across somehow. Lipreading wasn't very effective, but it was going to have to do. It didn't take long for him to catch up to her. She had stopped herself along the way, looking at one of the trees that had yet to bloom.

He walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. Her eyes immediately darted towards him and her eyes brightened. "I…know you." She said, her voice hard and raspy. "Goku's friend you are."

"I am." Gojyou nodded. He had to speak slowly. "What are you doing?"

Kali gestured to the tree. "Tree bloomed not yet." She explained. "Very late."

Gojyou looked up at the tree, breaking eye contact to look. When he looked back, Kali's attention was elsewhere. Down the road towards the only house that was near the lake. The bridge was still broken, there were people on boats trying to help each other fix it. She must live so far out…because the villagers wouldn't let her in.

She turned back towards him. "You here why?" She asked.

It was really hard to understand her, but luckily Gojyou knew what she was saying. He didn't have to feel the shame of having to run to Sanzo or Goku to ask them to be her voice. Hell, how did these villagers think she was going to be able to communicate when her voice was barely understandable and her hands were clear and crisp? Did they think that she might have some hearing left and it'd be stronger the more she talked? It didn't make sense! Hearing loss and deafness was hearing loss and deafness. There wasn't any other way around it.

"I saw the bruise." He said, gesturing to his cheek to make sure she understood. At least that worked. "Did someone hit you?"

"Sometimes they hit when understanding is hard." Kali explained. "Sometimes they hit when they think someone else I signed to."

If they were going to tell Goku not to sign with her, then what was her punishment going to be? "Morons the all of them."

"You think?" Kali asked, she didn't take her eyes off of him.

"It's not a question if I think, it's a question if I know." Gojyou muttered darkly. How could they think this way? It didn't make sense…

"I'm confused…" Kali murmured. Gojyou watched her as her eyes flickered to the ground. He could practically see gears turning in her head. She looked back up at him. "You think this why?"

"Because you should be able to speak in the way that makes it easier on you. If Goku wants to learn how to sign then he should be able to learn how to sign and whose a better teacher than you?" Gojyou shook his head. "Whose your teacher?"

Her eyes darkened. "Him I don't like."

Gojyou was taken aback by the malice. Had..he been the one to hit her?

She decided to clarify. "Can fix me, he says. Him I don't like. He can't fix me. My father and my mother can't."

"They tried to fix you?" Gojyou wondered exactly what this "fixing" required. Just the ceasing of signing or was there more? He didn't think he wanted to know.

"Yes…I saw many doctors." Kali explained. "Many doctors did many things. Painful things. Hurtful things. Signing I learned from a woman doctor. She was the only doctor to tell my parents I can't be fixed. Three years I was with her."

"Why only three years?" Surely it took longer to learn how to sign right? Or did she learn all that she could in a required space of time?

"Different doctor, my teacher, came." Kali said quietly. "_My _teacher was wrong, he said. Signing was bad. I have hearing and it will get stronger if I use it. Speech he taught me. Lip read he taught me. He checks on me, makes sure that I'm doing okay, that I'm improving. When I don't he gets upset."

"Great." Lunatics for neighbors, a crazy doctor, and parents that didn't seem to care that their own daughter was being tormented. "How do you practice signing if there's no one with you?"

"A mirror." Kali smiled at him. "Best conversations I have with myself." She looked at the tree and then looked back at him. "Tree blooming no. You arrived here and tree not blooming it's too bad."

"Maybe when we go through here again to get back home…we'll see it." Gojyou commented, looking away as he looked at the tree. Kali tapped his shoulder, waved, and walked off. He decided to stay behind, watching her back as she went to the lonely house by the lakeside.


End file.
